7 Quick Takes: March 26, 2010 (Vol. 35)

~ 1 ~

At the end of last week, I declared to Eric one night at dinner, "I need a PDA." Then, in my defense, I did follow that up with, "Hang on -- did I see need?  I meant I want one."

I went looking around on Amazon that night and saw that one of the things that came up again and again as something that other customers bought instead of one of the PDAs was an iPod Touch.  Hey!  I have an iPod Touch! 

That's when I sat down and realized that all of the things that I really wanted from a PDA were also things that my iPod Touch can already do.  I did buy one extra app, but $4.99 is definitely a lot cheaper than a PDA. 

I was so proud of myself!

~ 2 ~

I have yet to find anything to watch regularly from 11:30 pm - 12:30 am on TV. 

I still miss you, Conan.

~ 3 ~

I've been having a strong desire lately to unfriend some people on Facebook.  It's not that they have annoyed me or even that I know specifically who it would be (I have some ideas though).  But, when I have people that I only kind of knew in passing on an online message board or people that I went to school with but never remember talking to, it just seems silly.  But, then I don't want to make waves and take the chance at hurting anyone's feelings.

Then again, if I feel like I barely know them and would likely never comment on their statuses, they probably wouldn't notice if we weren't "friends" anymore.  (And, chances are, if you're reading this and feel that we actually are friends, I'm probably not thinking about unfriending you.  So, don't worry.)

Thoughts on this?

~ 4 ~

Holy Cow!  This week's episode of The Big Bang Theory was hilarious!

"A neutron walks into a bar and says, 'How much for a drink?' The bartender says, 'For you - no charge.'"

I laughed at this episode until I almost cried.

(I was extra thrilled then to find a Flash Gordon shirt for Noah at Once Upon a Child this week.  If you watch the show, you will understand my excitement.)

~ 5 ~

In anticipation for moving my blog to self-hosted WordPress, I am going to start selling ads for Many Little Blessings more actively.  They will be higher on the page than they are now (much higher), and I am starting the pricing off pretty darn low.  (Really low, especially considering that I tend to get my best traffic at this time of year.)

If you have a small business, this is a great opportunity to get a great rate on advertising.  Please contact me if you want more information about advertising here (or on any of my blogs, such as Catholic Mothers Online or The Homeschool Classroom).

~ 6 ~

Last weekend found us at my new favorite furniture store.  I mentioned it in #5 of my quick takes two weeks ago.  (It was the furniture store that gives a huge discount for paying with cash.  Love it!)

I'm now not allowed in there for a while. 

No, I didn't cause a scene or anything crazy like that.  It just seems that what with buying a desk for Molly and an awesome bunk bed last time, and then buying a love seat and a head board at our last trip, Eric thinks it's best for us not to go there for a while. 

On the up side though, the kids now have a great love seat for the play room (which used to be the school room), and we saved $45 off the price by using cash!  Love it!

~ 7 ~

I had realized that today (the 26th) was going to be my Grandma's birthday a few weeks ago, but then forgot about it until my Mom mentioned it on the phone.  I don't know why the whole thing still seems pretty surreal.  What I seem to have the biggest mental block on is that I just can't imagine that someone else lives in her apartment now.  That seems like such a funny sticking point, doesn't it?

Happy Birthday, Grandma.  We miss you.







This post is linked to 7 Quick Takes and Weekly Wrap Up.


lemonade stand photo by shaletann

7 Quick Takes: February 19, 2010 (Vol. 30)

~ 1 ~

The biggest event of the week around our house has been sickness.  Lots and lots of coughing and stuff noses.  Quite frankly, with three of the five of us on antibiotics, I'm getting really tired of it.  

As I mused on Facebook the other night, "I think my lungs are trying to stage a mutiny.  Don't they know they need me to survive?"  I'm just praying that we'll be a lot healthier by next week's Quick Takes.

~ 2 ~

So now, with being sick, I have found that I am considerably less enamored with the snow.  Eric and I talked about how at the beginning of the winter, we loved the big snows that were coming in.  But, now we're cringing as they talk about things like "significant snow" next week.  I told him that it reminded me of the first two verses of the song "In Like a Lion (Always Winter)" by Relient K.

It's always nice to look out the window

And see those very first few flakes of snow

And later on we can go outside

And create the impression of an angel

That just fell from the sky

When February rolls around I'll roll my eyes

Turn a cold shoulder to these even colder skies

And by the fire, my heart, it heaves a sigh

For the green grass waitin' on the other side

~ 3 ~

I have decided on something to give up for Lent that already makes me nervous to think about.  That must mean it's a big sacrifice if it makes me nervous when I haven't even done it yet, huh?

I decided that starting with the first full week of Lent, I will be giving up the computer for one day each week.  It won't always be the same day each week (not always Mondays, for instance), but it will definitely be one full day each week.  Although I would have loved to have counted from midnight to 11:59 pm as a day, I know that for me (and my crazy sleep habits), I had to say that a "day" will be from when I wake up until I go to sleep for the night.  

I'm hoping that this will allow me at least one day a week to really focus on non-computer things.  Who knows -- maybe I'll keep it up past Easter.  (Somehow, I doubt that.)

~ 4 ~

I was struck by two things this week while at Ash Wednesday Mass.  They are the same two things that strike me each year.

The first is one that I can't even seem to put into words.  There's just something about seeing the parade of people walking by after having been freshly marked with ashes (and told "Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return").  There are babies and there are elderly people.  Rich people and poor.  Our mortality is something that nobody can hide from.  But, there is also a sense of unity in seeing it too.  

The second, on a lighter side, is that at some point while waiting for our turn to go up front, I always have to turn to Eric and say something along the lines of, "Is this church a clown car?  Seriously -- where does this endless line of people keep coming from?"

~ 5 ~

Speaking of faith related items, it's coming up on First Communion time soon.  If you're working on First Communion banners this year, you might want to check out some of my popular past posts about this topic:

How To Make a First Communion Banner

More Than 40 First Communion Banner Examples

First Communion Banner Examples

I can't quite believe it, but it's the first time in three years that we don't have a First Communion in our family.  Granted, it was very different for us, but Eric and I both had our First Communion in 2007, then Noah in 2008, and then Jack in 2009.  It seems a little odd to us that we aren't busy with it this year. 

~ 6 ~

I can't believe that I almost forgot one cool thing from this week -- Brenda and I launched a free toolbar for Catholic families/homeschoolers.  I'm really excited at the kind words that people have been saying about the toolbar.  I can't wait to watch as the resource grows.  (If you know of great sites that should be added, please pass them along.  We already have a list of more sites to add, but the Internet is so big that it's impossible to be aware of all the gems out there.)

~ 7 ~

Do you ever feel like you just can't keep up?  I would love to say that it's the illness talking, but I know that's not it.  (The strong cough medicine probably doesn't help either.  So, if this has all rambled, please blame that, as I took it right before writing this post.)  

Every so often I just feel like the things that I think are my priorities are a little out of whack, and like I need to do some things to bring things back to how they should be.  I know where some of the issues are, but I guess I just need to figure out what to do about it.

This post is linked to 7 Quick Takes Friday.

photos by:  snowflake - circulating  /  keyboard - julian-

Those Moments That Bring Life Into Sharp Focus

It's easy to let life slip by us, isn't it?  I know I'm guilty (too guilty) of finding time to play on Facebook or Twitter, but "forgetting" to do an activity that I told the kids I would do.  Or, I grumble when my Mom asks a favor while I think I am too busy doing something that probably isn't all that important anyway.

I think that there are so many of us that find ourselves caught up in life, but not in the important things -- those things that, if we knew we would die tomorrow, we would wish we had focused on more.  Probably very few (hopefully none of us) would say, "Wow -- I wish I had been more active on my blog."  Instead, I suspect many of us would cite things like our families, our friends, or our church, for example.

Every so often though, something happens that brings life into sharp focus.  You have a sudden clear vision of exactly what is important, and also of what really isn't all that important.  It has been my experience that it usually happens a moment, and it's not something that you expected.

It's something like when we were driving to an All Saints Party in November, and I got the cell phone call from my Mom that started like this, "Dad is at Grandma's house, and he thinks she may have died.  I'm on my way there now."

I vowed that I wanted to bring more focus to my life after that.  But, it's so easy to forget about that once things start to settle.  This seems especially true because those kinds of moments don't usually happen to someone often.  It would seem that I had another one of those moments less than a week ago.  (It doesn't seem right to have them happen so close to each other.)

Let me tell you, while the unexpected death of your 90 year old Grandmother puts a focus on your life, seeing a pediatric cardiologist who is normally jovial walk into a room after "checking some measurements against the normal range" with a serious look and a deep breath, life gets a whole lot more focused.  Then, when words like aortic aneurysm are said as the doctor looks from you to your eight year old child, the priorities in your life become, in an instant, crystal clear.  

I think that over our Christmas break, I need to make some plans to help me live so that my true priorities really come through in my life.  I know all too well that once life settles, it's easy to forget that sharp focus.  But I also know that I need more of it.

If anyone has some great tips of how to manage your time or how to work on priorities, I would really appreciate it!

(I don't really want to get into a lot of medical details right now, but I also don't want anyone reading to worry that we are looking at anything life threatening right now.  Although we'll have to worry about things a lot sooner than we once thought, we're still fine enough for now.)


 





photo by ToniVC

7 Quick Takes: November 20, 2009 (Volume 22)

~ 1 ~

All of the sudden, this week, I woke up one day with a sore throat.  Then, my throat got better, but my sinuses started to clog up.  It just went downhill from there.

Still no fever, and my sore throat is basically gone.  But, oh my heck -- the sinus pressure!  And I have no idea how many tissues I have used at this point.  Do you know how I know it's really bad?  I had to try twice to use the Neti Pot last night and couldn't (it wouldn't flow through).  I finally had to take Sudafed and try it again an hour later.  So not good!

~ 2 ~

Loved the Advent Conspiracy video last year, so I was happy to see a new one this year.  (I tried to post it right here, but it was tried to take over the sidebar too.  So, I'll just link you over to it on You Tube.)

~ 3 ~

Speaking of Advent reminds me of Christmas.  Can you believe that I got my first Christmas card for the year last week?

Okay, before you freak out and think about how far behind you are or have to wonder why someone would send them out so early, I actually got this one much earlier than the sender would have meant for us to get it.  While we were cleaning out my Grandma's apartment, we found a stack of Christmas cards that she had been working on.  She said she figured if she did five a day, then she wouldn't get too tired doing them.  My Mom is planning to send them all out before Christmas and include a note with them.

I left that card sitting on the counter, unopened, for about a week.  But, this week, I opened it and I cried.  Jack, my ever emotional guy, cried too.  After all we've been through since the beginning of the month, it was just still surreal to think it was the last Christmas card we would ever get from her.

~ 4 ~

These last few months have been so crazy busy, and I'm just so tired.  So very tired.

~ 5 ~

While I do hope to get a little down time this weekend, I have vowed that this weekend will be the one to get some things done.  I have a lot of things to work on, and I would love for this to be the weekend that I could look back on and say, "Wow -- look how much I got done!"

 Then again, based on how I'm feeling right now, I think I'll just be happy to sleep in one day.

~ 6 ~

Did I show you guys my date book for 2010 yet?

I love this thing!  It is so cute.  And, I really like that each spread covers two weeks, instead of a more standard one week.

~ 7 ~

Time is almost up for voting in the 2009 Homeschool Blog Awards.  Be sure to pop over there and check out some fabulous homeschooling blogs!

If you haven't yet voted in the family/group blog category, we'd love it if you would consider voting for The Homeschool Classroom.  Thanks!

This post is linked to 7 Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

Pictures by: Amazon (date book)  /   Chiot's Run (neti pot)  /  CherrySoda! (sleeping doll)

Disclosure: The links to Amazon are affiliate links.  Your purchases on Amazon through this blog helps to support this blog (and our homeschool!).

7 Quick Takes: November 13, 2009 (Volume 21)

~ 1 ~

Thanks so much for all of the kind words on my Grandmother's sudden passing.  It was so helpful for me to be able to write about it, and I appreciate all of the kind words that you guys have left.

We had the funeral last Friday, and spent this week continuing to clean out her apartment.  It has all been tiring both physically and emotionally, but it has also offered so many small moments of joy, as well as time to be with family.

~ 2 ~

In my quest to say yes to the kids a whole lot more often, I have found myself spending a lot more time doing things like listening to books that the kids have written (especially by Molly, who has to read them to me, since they are mostly scribbles with a "mom," "dad," or "cat" tossed in occasionally), playing rock paper scissors,  and drawing with the kids.

Though I have felt so behind in many things I need to do lately, it has also been nice to say yes a lot more often instead of saying "in just a little while," which becomes "how about tomorrow?"

~ 3 ~

  

Speaking of being busy -- how can I always be busy?  And, really -- if a person is always busy, then are they actually busy or is it just their normal?

~ 4 ~

After struggling with whether to get the H1N1 flu shot for the children or not, we finally had the immunizations.  They had been very scarce around here.  So, when the county had a mass immunization, I knew we just had to decide.  Since Jack has a heart defect (and Molly now has a small murmur), I thought that it was probably a good move for our family.

So far, so good -- no side effects.  And, while the shots were free, we did spend an hour and thirty minutes in line.  We also spent $16 on books for the kids as rewards (seriously -- what kid wants to wait in line that long for a shot?), and then $25 on lunch from out.  Those were some expensive shots!

~ 5 ~

The Homeschool Classroom has been nominated for the 2009 Homeschool Blog Awards!

Help us move up a few more places in the Best Homeschool Group or Family Blog category -- we would really appreciate your support! 

~ 6 ~

It was with a lot of sadness that I read this week that my favorite online scrapbook store, Lifetime Moments, is closing in less than a month.  Not only is this an amazing store with great selection and fabulous customer service, but their message board has introduced me to a whole new family and their yearly crops have left me with memories that will probably stick with me forever.

If you're a scrapbooker and have never shopped at Lifetime Moments, you might want to check out their closing sale.  They have 25% off everything in the store with the code of 25-011 at checkout.  Go quickly though -- they are already selling out of an awful lot of things.  To make it easier to browse though, it does appear that they are trying to keep up on deleting products that have sold out.

Goodbye, Lifetime Moments, I'll miss you.

~ 7 ~

One of my favorite song lyrics lately is from You, Me, and the Bourgeoisie by The Submaries:

Love can free us from all excess, from our deepest debts, 

Cause when our hearts are full we need much less.

This post is linked to 7 Quick Takes and Weekly Wrap Up.

Photos by: [ henning ] (cemetery statue) / kelvin255 (stressed out doll) /  Brent and MariLynn (candy hearts)

And This is Why My Grandma is Cringing in Heaven

As you can probably imagine, this week has been a hodge podge of craziness, weeping, stress, surprise at all of the support we've had, and also moments of sheer delight in the aftermath of my Grandma's sudden and unexpected death on Sunday.  

Yes, I said that -- sheer delight.  This story is one of those.  But, I think if you can't find some moments of sheer delight in the aftermath of someone close to you passing, then you need to find people to be around that were close to them too, and you need to share stories.  Share lots of them.  Moments of laughter and joy are sure to be mixed in with the sorrow.

So, back to what happened the other day at my Grandma's apartment.

I don't know if I have mentioned this, but although my Grandma was 90 years old and basically home bound, she still lived by herself.  Because she lived in government subsidized housing, we have only two weeks (plus one day) from the date she died to clean out her apartment.  So, although we have put a hold on doing it anymore until after her funeral, we have already spent hours going through things, sorting, and such.

When we worked for a few hours on Tuesday, I took the kids with me.  They dutifully sat on the couch and watched some television.  Finally, not being able to stop themselves, they climbed onto my Grandma's motorized scooter.  This was, of course, forbidden before.  Well, that's not entirely true.  They used to sit on it, but then Grandma worried too much, and they weren't allowed near it.  Finally able to again sit in this forbidden fruit, they moved the joystick around, pretending to drive it around.


But, then a wonderful and unexpected thing happened.  It was the kind of thing that reminds me why God gave kids grandparents.  My Mom told my Dad that he should take the kids out into the long hallway and let them each drive the scooter themselves.

And, that is why, on Tuesday afternoon, a ten year old, an eight year old, and a five year old got to each take turns driving a motorized scooter throughout the retirement home.  Sure, they got some looks, but there weren't too many people around.

They loved it.  And I loved it.

I stood at my Grandma's doorway and looked down the long hallway that we had walked down so many times before.  I watched as the kids had so much fun, and I laughed.  I laughed so much that I couldn't help but put my hand in front of my mouth.  And then, I had to choke back tears.  But, in the next moment, I was laughing again.  And then back to tears.  It was a crazy melding of emotions, but I loved it anyway.

After it was all done, I told my parents that I figured Grandma was probably cringing in Heaven, watching those kids riding her scooter down the halls.  She probably was turning to my Grandpa, her husband of 57 years prior to his passing 15 years ago, "Howard -- do you see what he's letting those kids do?"

Sure -- she may have been in Heaven cringing, but I really hope that she was just like me.  I hope she was staring down that hallway -- laughing and crying and then laughing some more.

My Day Took The Kind of Turn That You Just Never See Coming

Isn't it funny how sometimes we have our days planned and we think we know just exactly what to expect.  And then, in a moment, that same day takes a 180 degree turn and you end up somewhere you never guessed you would be that day?

I had a day like that today.

My family and I were driving to an All Saints Day party about 25 minutes away.  When we were about 10 minutes from our house, I got a call on my cell phone from my Mom.  In the next moment, I was breathing quickly, crying, and telling Eric, "Don't turn!  Drive straight!"

Instead of us all heading to the party, I needed him to take me to my Grandma's apartment, in order to meet my Mom there.  She had told me that she was driving there because my Dad had gone to visit Grandma (his mother) and he thought that she had passed away -- right while he was there.  One minute he was talking to her, then he was changing her clocks and she started to cough a bit.  Then, just a minute or so later, he asked her a question and she didn't answer.  He couldn't get her to respond, and called 911.

I got there to paramedics, police, and my Dad.  In what I didn't know would happen, the paramedics wouldn't tell us anything.  But, when they finally wheeled past us to take her to the ambulance, both my Dad and I caught a glimpse of a small monitor that was held on the gurney -- it showed a straight line and a zero.  We were told that we needed to meet them at the hospital.  We couldn't help but watch as they rushed her out, working on CPR the whole time.

The drive to the hospital was surreal.  We talked in terms of "if."  "If she has passed away, we need to (call whomever, do whatever)..."  I kept thinking that we would show up at the hospital and she would be fine.  Not fine, of course, but with us.  I don't know why.  I just thought that if I talked like she had passed, then we would look back and think how silly we had all been to over react.

We (my Mom, Dad, and I) made it to the emergency room and they seemed to indicate that she wasn't there yet.  And, then it seemed like just moments later, the employee at the front desk told us that they were there with her, but that we needed to wait in the waiting room.  But, just a couple of minutes after that, he told us that they wanted us to wait in a small, quiet room inside the ER to wait for the doctor.

At each step of this, I thought, "She's gone."  But, in each step, I also thought, "They're going to tell us that she's still alive."

Finally, a doctor and a nurse came into our small room.  Their faces and voices were soft but somber.  The doctor asked what had happened that morning.  My parents recounted having talked to her on the phone, and how she had been chatty with my Mom about a movie they had both watched.  They then talked about when my Dad was with her.

Then, the doctor had her turn to talk.  She told us briefly about what the paramedics had done for her.  And, while this story sure sounds like the ending is pretty easy to figure out, I thought she was going to say, "We got her back, but she's not doing well."  I don't know why -- I just thought that was exactly, word per word, what she was going to say. 

But, of course, it wasn't.  It was that the paramedics had never been able to get her back.  They had done everything right, but she was gone.  And, we would probably not know exactly why it had happened, but based on what Dad had said (and some previous heart attacks), it was probably a massive heart attack that had taken her in just a moment.  She probably didn't even have a chance to be in pain.

They were both the words I expected to hear, and not at all what I expected to hear.  And, even though we were able to see her and say goodbye, I have to admit that this still seems like a weird mix of reality and a hazy dream that you wake up from and say, "Was that real?  It seemed real, but that was too weird to be real, so it must be a dream." 

I keep telling myself that it shouldn't be so hard to believe, as she was 90 years old, but it still isn't quite within my grasp.  So this week, I will not only be helping to clean out her apartment and assisting with anything that my parents need, but I'll also be working on really believing that what happened today really did happen.

When did I get so old?

Seriously -- when did it happen?

I don't feel old, certainly. Heck -- I don't actually think that I am old.

But, things seem to be happening every so often that make me scratch my head and think, "Huh. I guess I am getting older."

My reasoning?

Not one, but several of the kids that I used to babysit are now either married or have finished graduate school. Or both!

I have been waited on by many familiar faces in stores and restaurants. I stop to think, "How do I know that kid?" (Yeah -- I call them kids.) Then I realize that they were one of my former students.

I have two nephews in college. I remember changing their diapers!

Just this week, while watching the news, they talked about going into one of the local high schools to register some of the students who will be 18 by Election Day. He spoke eloquently about exciting it was to be able to be involved in such a historic election. He, too, was one of my students when he was in elementary school.

And, a last favorite of mine -- I was playing with a vintage Fisher Price toy with one of the kids that I see for Early Intervention therapy. His Mom talked about what a cute toy it was and wondered how old it was. I flipped it over and read that it was made in 1983. She remarked, "Wow -- it's older than me!"

Deleting Email Addresses

Every so often, I go through my email address book and delete some of the email addresses. I may delete ones that I know keep coming back undeliverable or perhaps the email address of someone that I used to take classes with in graduate school to whom I don't really talk to anymore.

You get the idea.

People's email addresses change, and sometimes, your relationship with them changes.

In my last purging, I came to an email address that I had known needed to be deleted for a while now. But, I put it off.

Instead, every time I scrolled through my email address book when sending out emails to several people, I was met with this particular email address.

I have to admit -- I have never had to delete an email address because someone had passed away. But, when you have people like your grandparents in your email address book, it is bound to happen.

Still, here it is -- almost October, and Eric's Grandma passed away in April. Here's the funny thing, I still thought about leaving it in my address book. I just didn't want to delete it.

Even when there were family problems, and I was pretty sure that maybe nobody in Eric's family liked me, his Grandma was always so nice to me. She always looked genuinely happy to see me, especially at times when I had perhaps avoided being seen. It was those times when I was extra nervous inside, and she always made me feel a little more calm with her smile and warmth.

Sure, her having my email address meant that I sometimes got a lot of forwarded emails. That's what older people do when they have email, right? But, now, I would take an inbox full of forwards that I had read a hundred times before if I had the opportunity to tell her how much I had appreciated her kindness over the 16 years I knew her. I'll just have to hope that she knew that I really loved her like a Grandma.

So, I sat in silence for a moment. I highlighted her email address. I took a deep breath. I closed my eyes. I hit delete.

In the end, I knew that I had to delete her email address, but I just couldn't watch it happen.

It makes me sad to think about it...

But, I have come to realize I'm getting older.

I don't actually begrudge myself getting older. And, while I am a bit wistful while realizing that each of my little babies is no longer a little baby, it also isn't what makes me sad.

It is the realization that my grandparents and great aunts and uncles are getting older.

I was around 17 years old when the first of my close relatives passed away -- my paternal grandfather. Before that, although I had already bitterly dealt with the passing due to a car accident of several young men from my high school, I hadn't had to have a relative that I knew pass away.

As crazy as it sounds then, I didn't really have to deal with any more close relatives passing away from a long time after that. But, then, it started happening. In the last ten years (or maybe even less), Eric and I have lost several of our great aunts and uncles. In 2007, it hit even one generation closer, and I lost one of my aunts (my Dad's older sister). And, this April, Eric's Grandmom passed away -- the first of one of our grandparents to pass away since I was 17.

Last week, we again found ourselves with a loss. My Great Aunt Phyllis passed away (my maternal grandmother's sister). I went with my parents to her funeral this past Monday, and I suspect that there was hardly a dry eye in the house, particularly while both Amazing Grace and I'll Fly Away were sung.

It is with sadness that I say good bye to Aunt Sis. And, it is with extra sadness that I know that this is not nearly the last time we'll be needing to say goodbye to this generation.

I'm just exhausted

I can't believe I haven't posted on my blog since Sunday! Okay, so it LOOKS like I posted on Monday, but I really just used the handy new Blogger In Draft and actually wrote that on Sunday and had it publish on Monday.

But, between an extra long weekend trip away (which I hope to post about), Eric's Grandmom's death and funeral, an extremely long CRHP (Christ Renews His Parish) meeting last night (seriously -- we met from 6:30 pm until 11 pm, and that's just too hard to do after a whole day of funeral stuff), an eye appointment for Noah today (there is news to come about that too later), and then my Mom's impending surgery tomorrow -- I'm just so beat.

I'm actually so beat that I can feel some depression trying to creep in. I realized this only after driving today and pretty much swearing off any and every big commitment that I have made of my time. You know -- "I am not sure I want to be involved with that anymore. I just don't have the time or energy to put into this and need to stop doing it. I just don't want to do anything anymore." Then, I did have to stop and say, "Oh...hang on. Okay -- I need to think about this all some more before I go quitting everything that I am involved in, and give it a day or two or five or ten."

I am hoping to be up and at 'em and ready to post again starting tomorrow, as long as everything goes okay with my Mom's surgery. If not, I hope to be back by Friday.

Goodbye Grandmom, Just for Now

After a long battle with cancer (although it was not her first battle with it), one of Eric's Grandmothers passed away on Friday.

Eric's "Grandmom" (as they all called her, though I admit that I always just said Grandma) lived about 40 minutes from us, and I'll admit that we didn't see her nearly as often as we probably should have. It is probably through God's grace then that she spent almost two weeks near the end of her life here on Earth at a facility that was very close to our house. As a matter of fact, it was even a facility that one of my Grandmothers is at -- they ended up right across the hall from one another!

So, in a nice twist, we ended up over those couple of weeks often stopping by to see both of them. (My Grandma had been there just a few days when his Grandmom arrived, so that was the perfect encouragement for me to finally go see my Grandma too!)

We were able to see Grandmom several times during her time there, and it was obvious that her time with us with nearing closer to the end. And, in her last week, she was with one of her younger sisters (at her home) with hospice care. Eric and I prayed many times during this that her time to pass would come quickly and peacefully, as she was in quite a lot of pain.

It was with relief that we finally got a phone call on Friday from Eric's Dad letting us know that she had passed away. Neither of us cried, it was really hard to be sad, knowing that her long fight was finally done. (Although, I will admit that we both appeared to hold back tears during Mass when we prayed for those that had died.)

I suppose though, it is important to remember the conversation I had with the boys on Thursday, telling them that she probably would die soon. I reminded them that God heals people and that she would feel so much better in Heaven, so it would be a blessing, because she was in so much pain now.

Noah did a half-smile and said, "It's nice that God heals people." Then he paused and continued with a bigger smile, "I just love it when He does that."

So true, Noah. I love it when He does that too.

And, so...Goodbye Grandmom -- but just for now. In the grand scheme of eternity, I know we will all see you again soon.

Stealing flowers from the cemetery

Jack has been looking forward to going to the small farmer's market not too far from our home (maybe a 10 minute drive) that is once a week. I promised him that once school was out, we would go. And, so one evening this past week, we were able to go. Just me and Jack. (He was thrilled, and even declared it to be "special time just for us.")

On the way, we passed a cemetery. Jack instantly noticed it. It is one of those newer ones that has all flat stones. What caught his eyes were all the flowers and flags. It was quite a sight just after Memorial Day. On the way to the Farmer's Market, we talked about cemeteries -- what they were for, etc.

After our trip to the Farmer's Market (where we got homemade rolls and a cookie, as well as some kettle corn), I decided that perhaps we would stop at the cemetery.

As we pulled up, I tried to remember which particular drive I wanted to go down. I wanted to take Jack to a particular area. And, to my amazement -- I actually remembered the right way. (There are a few entrances all on the same side.)

I took Jack to the small stone that was difficult to find, with grass trying to grow over it. I showed him the stone that had a depiction of a puppy under a tree and with dates that were not even two week apart. I explained to him that sometimes when babies are born, they are just too sick. And, sometimes -- even babies die. Jack has grown in the past year to have a better understanding of death. I'm sure he still doesn't understand it really, but he doesn't go crazy at the mention of it anymore. He takes more comfort in the idea of Heaven. Anyway, I went on to tell him that before his Daddy was born, his Daddy had a brother who was just too sick, and who went to Heaven when he was just a little baby. Jack looked very seriously, and we talked a bit about it. Jack felt bad that Daddy didn't get to play with his brother. And, then Jack was ready to move on. He asked to see where Daddy's grandpa was, since I had mentioned he was there as well.

We moved to that stone, and we talked some about how this was his great-grandpa, but he went to Heaven long before Jack was born. We also then talked about why some of the stones had two people's names on them. It made me nervous to explain to Jack why one of his great-grandmother's names was on that stone, even though she is still living. But, he was okay with my explanation, and he thought it was nice that people wanted to be by each other since they were married.

And, then Jack decided he wanted to walk some more. He asked about people's names, and if they were married. He wanted to know which side was the girl and which side was the boy (if I hadn't read the names to him yet). He wanted to know if both people of a married couple had passed away or if one was still alive. It was kind of surreal how calmly he was talking about it, considering the outburst he had had at the beginning of religious education this past year when Fr. Dan had come and talk to his class about Heaven.

While we were walking, Jack found two pink carnation blossoms (well -- not real ones...more like ones off of a Walmart graveside floral arrangement) far from any of the headstones. He picked them up, and I looked around to see where they might belong. I said, "Go put them over there by Dorothy, since she has ones that look like that" (I had already told him her name from her grave stone), even though I couldn't see any empty spots in the pink carnation heart by her stone. He looked disappointed. I figured he was hoping to take these home with him.

Finally, as he begrudgingly set them by her stone, he looked up at me and said, "But what about Dad's brother and grandpa? They don't have flowers." I thought for a moment about this, and then decided that if they really did belong to Dorothy's arrangement (though it didn't appear they did), I thought she wouldn't mind. I told Jack that it was a nice idea.

He carefully set one flower top each on his uncle's tiny stone and next to his great-grandpa's name on the large stone nearby, as he then jumped away toward the van, declaring that we would have to "go tell Dad who we visited."

The Prodigal Fish

Ummm...I have to admit, I don't know what to make of this. But, did feel the need to post after posting about my missing fish yesterday.

Eric and I were walking by the fish tank and all of the sudden, there swims one of the molly fish out of that coral reef thingee I mentioned in the last post. He just sauntered out like he hadn't been missing for days on end.

So, the prodigal fish returns. Well...at least one of them did. Huh...

Reward Offered for Return of Missing Fish

Okay, perhaps I will not be offering a reward. But, Eric pointed out a disturbing fact to me this evening when I returned from an overnight trip.

He said, "I'm really not looking forward to cleaning that fish tank."

I thought perhaps it had to do with whatever growth was currently going on in the tank, but I asked anyway. "Why is that?"

"It's been days since the last time I have seen those Molly fish."

Huh. That's not good...not good at all. Alas, it would seem that two of our fish have simply disappeared. Somewhere in our "giant" 10 gallon tank -- they are there (I think!). Where they are, I am simply not sure.

We have a large rock structure that is supposed to look like a coral reef, and the fish are sometimes able to hide somewhere in there that makes them totally undetectable to us. They have hidden there before. But, sadly, I don't think they have ever gone for days without being seen.

I have a strong suspicion that I will have a desperate need for something from the grocery store (and will desperately need to take the kids along) when Eric cleans that tank again. Blech!

Our mortality

It is, perhaps, fitting to write on our mortality here on what is a national day of mourning (for the passing of former president Gerald Ford). This, however, is not the reason that I have been thinking about this topic. Last night, after 20 weeks in the hospital, my Dad's older sister (my Aunt Carolyn) passed away. I didn't know her well, and hadn't seen her in about 10 years, since she lived on the opposite side of the country from us. But, I had been praying for her, and prayed that her passing would be quick and peaceful.

I am not really sure what I have to say on this topic, honestly. Thus far in my life, I have been pretty lucky to have been spared from having to deal with too many losses of family or friends. It wasn't until I was 16 years old that I had a close family member pass away -- my paternal grandfather. And, while it can believe it has been a while ago that that happened, it does not feel like it could possibly have been almost 14 years ago. I can still remember vividly going to visit him and the way that he would always hit you in arm as a greeting, sometimes maybe a little more firmly than I wanted, but it was his way, and it didn't actually hurt. He would always be sitting at the kitchen table, watching his TV programs. Thinking of that kitchen makes me think of him. And, perhaps it is a blessing that my grandparents moved into a retirement complex before he passed so that we wouldn't have to be in that kitchen and know he wasn't there.

I think that deep down, even when we worry about death, we don't think that it will happen to us now. It is something far in the future. But, then you have the experience, as I did in my second year of college, of hearing that a girl who I had been on the newspaper with in high school (who was still in high school at that time), had been having headaches. Her family found out it was because of a tumor. And, then within three weeks, she was gone. It is in instances like that that we see that life is not quite as certain as we expect it to be.

God has His plan for us, and it does not always follow the plans that we have for ourselves. And, I think that can be difficult to remember sometimes. Perhaps these are events that happen in our lives that serve as reminders to us to embrace every moment, and to take this time now to do what we can for others and to try to more closely follow the path that God has laid out for us.